My dearest friend,
In one of our last conversations, you asked me if my life turned out the way I thought it would, and I told you it hasn’t. We both know that reality, well, our reality, is nearly the opposite of a fairytale. My life, my existence, is nothing I ever thought or dreamed of. It has recently dawned on me that fairytales only exist to help people escape the truth and darkness present in life. We as humans constantly lie to ourselves and others out of shame, guilt, and the chance to escape our realities. Mainly because the truth for many is too hard to bear and tolerate. The idea that many have to run around lying and deceiving for years than ever expose their reality is so profoundly rooted that I can’t begin to start on the topic. As I ramble, I must admit I fall victim to fear that my desires, passions, and goals may not be accepted. So, I resort to keeping my truth silent, clutching on to my ideas as if the world may end should someone, not like them.
The irony is that in my attempt to safeguard my heart, I neglect to nurture and nourish these thoughts, these ideas, and passions so much so that my inner being is weak. To release these words are bitter because weakness has already begun to settle. I wonder if I had taken just one chance, a small step toward desire, had things ended differently. In fragility, I am left only to dream of the tender moments that never were.
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